Aug 24 2016

The Day After.

If you read my last post, you know last night was awful. I wound up taking two big mouthfuls of vodka, and I was very drunk (as you can see on my Twitter). I went to bed, and woke up just in time to get ready for work.
But last night is still with me. When I make a mistake that voice comes back into my head “you’re not good enough. You’re stupid & useless.” 
I wound up crying in a bathroom stall at work. The urge to cut was back. Instead, I took my pen out of my pocket and wrote all over my right thigh. Words of positivity.

The urges are there but I’m thinking of better ways to fight them. I’m being productive. 

But I’m still scared. I’m terrified of my own mind.

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