Oct 11 2016

Coming Out Day: Labels are Hard

Content Warning: Violence//Murder
Today, Tuesday, October 11, 2016 is the 28th annual National Coming Out Day. 

I’m happy to live in a country where I can do this, and not be arrested or killed. But we still have so far to go. 

And so, I’m coming out. I’m a “Whatever” (Thank you, Maria Bello, for introducing me to this term). But why? Why not just put myself in a box, throw a label on it, and call it a day? 

Because if I HAD to put a label on it it would be this: I’m a graysexual, panromantic, cisgender woman and a trans* ally. 

Now, first I’d like to tell you why I throw trans*  ally in there when I’m already happily nestled somewhere in the rainbow. 

The trans* community is still being attacked. They can still be discriminated against, and in some states (lookin’ at you North Carolina), people who are trans* are banned from using the bathroom of the gender they identify with. Even if they “pass” as that gender (I hate that term. So much.) they have to use the bathroom of the gender they were born. Which can actually put them at risk for violence. Or I should say increased risk. 

I put trans* ally in how I identify because last year, 21 trans* people were murdered. The highest ever. This year, as of September 23, there have been 23 trans* people murdered, including one by police, one found in a lake, one in a bathtub, and one that was originally considered murder, but the police believe her death may have been accidental. (Thank you HRC for statistics)

You may have also noticed that my sexual orientation & romantic orientation are listed. 

Graysexual means that I sometimes feel sexually attracted to someone, or have a low sex drive, or both. In my case, I don’t need sex. Kiss me and I’m happy. 

Panromantic means I’m romantically attracted to anyone, regardless of their gender, whether that gender is in the gender binary of male/female or not. 


(Flag found here)

However, this is why I don’t particularly like labels. Sexuality, gender, romanticism (?) is fluid. 


(Picture & quote from here)

And so, rather than stay in this one particular box for the rest of my life, so I call myself a whatever.
Maria Bello- I Am A Whatever

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